A woman said that she was sick of her husband celebrating his daughter’s birthday to such a degree that there was no energy left over for Christmas, but despite complaints he refused to stop
A woman was branded ‘unfair’ after accusing her husband of letting his daughter’s birthday overshadow Christmas – as it fell just two days before and he poured all his energy into making it special.
Sharing her story anonymously, the woman said that her husband, James, had a daughter from a previous marriage, named Ella, and that she’d never seen eye to eye with the youngster.
Her birthday was on December 23, and each year the husband doted on his daughter – often leaving no energy left for his wife, or their shared daughter, Ava.
This year the man’s daughter wanted to go away for her birthday so he agreed without question, but the woman told him it wasn’t right that he left her, and his other daughter, alone over Christmas.
Taking to Reddit, the woman said: “Her birthday always took priority. This became an issue when Ava was born.
“James had always promised Ella he would take her to Europe for her 16th birthday, and Ella was insistent it had to be on her actual birthday, so the Christmas when Ava was two he actually missed Christmas and we had the first fight of our entire marriage.
“He also told Ella crazy things like if a man doesn’t make a big deal out of her birthday to dump his a**, and that her birthday is much more important than Christmas.
“As a result, Ava complains every year that James cares more about Ella’s birthday than about Christmas and that she thinks Ella gets an unfair amount of money spent on her.
“I finally got annoyed and asked if he thinks he spends a fair amount of money, time, and energy on Ella vs Ava, and I said he makes every Christmas about Ella and her birthday.
“He said I was being unfair because Ella has never excluded me from her plans, though she is rude and doesn’t talk to me either.
“Finally I snapped at him that he is a bad father because one of his kids is a grown woman and one is not.”
After sharing her story online, the woman was inundated with advice from other parents – many of whom said she was in the wrong for complaining.
One said: “I’m seeing a lot here that actually supports your husband’s side. You really just don’t like Ella, and you resent the energy that he puts into celebrating her birthday. I’m not seeing where it necessarily has to take away from Ava.
“Does he also make a big deal for Ava’s birthday?
“Trying to force your husband to ignore or downplay his daughter’s birthday because it’s two days before Christmas and you seem to want him to entirely focus on his daughter with you isn’t a good look. It really doesn’t seem like he’s neglecting Ava here from what you’ve written.”
But another user could understand the woman’s concern, and added: “You and James have weird issues going on that y’all need to figure out via therapy or something.
“His coddling a grown woman, daughter or not, is strange. You being resentful of the daughter of your husband to this degree is also strange. Ella is spoiled at best, but she’s not really your concern since she’s not your daughter and she’s an adult.
“You need to figure out your issues with your husband.”